Every once in a while, you're reminded that things aren't
always what they seem. Case in point: the free haircuts at Durham
Bulls' baseball games.
A few years ago, for a couple of seasons, the Bulls awarded a free
haircut to two people selected from the crowd at every home game.
Most minor-league baseball clubs do things like that, as if to
make up for the fact that you're not watching major league
baseball. So because the Bulls can't provide that major-league
atmosphere -- surly, overpaid players, high prices and bad seats
-- they stick to the silly stuff: contests, games and a giant
humanoid bull who does wacky, mascot-type things like making fun
of bald guys.
And they give away haircuts.
Here's how it works: Before the game's first pitch, the stadium
announcer declares that the first four people to appear at a
certain spot will be eligible for a free haircut. The four people
-- they're children about half the time -- are then taken out to
the field, with two of them being parked along the third-base line
and two along the first base line. At the appointed moment, the
crowd cheers for one pair of them, then the other. The pair
getting the loudest cheer gets haircuts in the team owner's box.
Here's the question posed by a reader: This is fun?
"Do your kids get off on haircuts?" he wrote. "Here
are kids who have been brought out for a night of fun at the
ballpark, and now they have to take two or three innings out to go
get a damn haircut ... There's just such irony in a kid going out
to a ball game and winding up with a shroud around him and getting
yanked on and being told to sit still."
The answer seemed evident at first. A haircut is rarely fun, and
certainly not when it interrupts a baseball game.
But seeing and talking are the enemies of snap judgments. If you
want to ruin the theory that baseball haircuts are no fun, do two
things. Visit the Durham Bulls Athletic Park to see where the
haircuts happen; and talk to Kristy Mitchell, who does them.
Most haircuts tend to occur in scenically challenged settings --
strip malls, mostly, or maybe in the shed with Mom wielding the
clippers. But a haircut at a Bulls game means settling into an
antique barber chair in a luxury box above home plate. A huge
window offers an unimpaired view of the field. A pool table sits
just over to the right, for those idle moments between innings.
Food may be available at the serving counter to the left.
Sometimes a guy with a video camera shows up, and you'll see
yourself on the live-action billboard in the outfield. Wave to
everyone, big shot. You'll never be in another barbershop like
this.
Then there's Kristy, who is -- and one treads carefully here, lest
the wrong word invoke a bad reaction from the new puritans --
exactly the person you would want cutting your 16-year-old,
visible-to-girls, needs-to-look-good hair.
Kristy has cut the hair of every set of winners since the contest
began last year. That's about 140 games so far. She also offers a
trim to anyone else who happens to be hanging around the owner's
box on game nights. And she cuts hair for the Bulls players, some
of whom reportedly show up more often than good grooming actually
dictates.
In fact, I wouldn't mind letting Kristy cut my hair. Now that I've
investigated the matter, I can answer my reader's question.
Yes, this is fun.