Ben was a young man in my neighborhood who was seldom seen. I guess one could classify him as a loner. He was a high school student but as far as I knew, he didn’t participate in any extracurricular activities. By his appearance, one would expect he ‘worked out’ at home due to the fact that his build seemed to be that of a dedicated body builder. I had never seen him with his shirt off a fact that will be discussed a little later in the story.

I had met Ben several times and he seemed to be a very polite individual. The last time we talked, I mentioned the fun I was having with my computer and the Internet. Ben indicated he did not have a computer, but was working so he would be able to purchase one. I told him any time he wished to use my computer for research it was fine with me.

One day he stopped by and asked me strangest question. He asked me if there were sites on the Internet concerning men’s haircuts. Of course I had to ask if he was interested in that area. Allow me to digress a little. I didn’t mention anything about Ben’s hair. His hair was a light blond, straight and quite long. How long I had no idea since he kept it pulled back and fastened with a rubber band. His ponytail was long enough that you couldn’t see the end of it since he kept the tail tucked inside his shirt. I will admit he kept his hair very clean and neat. I assumed that he didn’t want anyone know how long his hair was. Anyways, he said he was thinking about getting his hair cut and wanted to get some encouragement from others. I told him that he would look great with shorter hair.

I showed him several sites and he wanted to know if he could write to these sites and ask for some opinions. I told him he was welcome to write but I needed to read what he was going to send before sending. He agreed. I explained to Ben that the sites he had chosen were sites where the people who post and read there were shorthaired enthusiast. He might not receive a reply since he said he had long hair. He said it would be all right if he didn’t hear. I also reminded him that some of the people who reply often times appear to be rude or gruff in their replies. He sent the same inquiry to about 3 different sites.

I showed him his post on each of the sites and he was impressed. I told him it might take days or weeks before he received a reply. Every day he would call and ask me if there were any replies. The day three replies appeared, I told him he could stop by anytime and read them. I must say two of them were very negative and rude as if the individual who posted was trying to ‘play a fast one’ on them. The other one, I found quite funny in a way and was quite direct as to what Ben should do. It went something like this: “Ben! Real men have short hair. Period! End of Discussion! After you read this message, you are to get your butt in a barber’s chair and have him make you look like a man! You Got That? No need to think about it. I have done the thinking for you. NOW DO IT!” I might add here there was more to his reply being that he agreed with the other two posts to some degree. I did write to this individual later and explained some psychology about the young man - that is he was looking for someone to confirm what he already knew he should do. In other words if he had a total stranger tell him what he wanted to hear, he would have had confirmed to him his thoughts about getting a haircut.

When Ben arrived, I told him that two of the posts didn’t believe he was being honest since a long haired individual was asking for advice from a short haired site and that they treated it as such. Ben was willing to read them anyway. After Ben read the two very rude, negative ones, I could see a definite ‘defeated look’ on his face. I was sure he wanted conformation. When he read the third one, I saw a slight smile on his face. He had seen the funny side of the post and at the same time a sincere answer.

Before Ben left, I asked him why the concern about getting his hair cut. He said he had let it grow to see what it would look like and then couldn’t bring himself to getting it cut and it just kept growing and growing. At no time did I request him to show me how long his hair was. That would have been rude on my part since he took great care to keep it hidden. I asked him what he was going to do, thinking he would want to try some other sites.

I then showed him several sites where there were lots and lots of short haircut styles from the Ivy League, Crew Cut, Buzz Cut, Burr Cut, and finally the Head Shave. I noticed that he kept looking at the shortest cuts for the longer period of time. That told me he really liked what he saw. He wrote down the different cuts he looked at and left. I said to myself, “I wonder what he will do?”

The next day there was a knock at the door. To tell you the truth, I didn’t know who it was at first. There stood Ben. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Standing in front of me was a young MAN! He came in carrying a dark plastic bag. I asked him what happened after he left yesterday. He said on his way home he got to thinking and he decided to get a haircut. He said he spent some time finding the right barbershop. He wanted to find a shop that had a young barber and no one waiting - he didn’t want anyone see him get a haircut. He said he finally found a one-chair shop that was manned by a young barber. He found out that the young barber had just finished barber school about a month before.

Ben said he told the barber what he wanted and the cutting began. Ben said he told the barber he wanted to keep the ponytail. Then he pulled out two large, long ponytails. I couldn’t believe the length of them. I measured them and they were just over 30 inches long. Now I knew why he kept his ponytail tucked in his shirt. I would guess that his over all length was well over 3 feet. No doubt he could have given Lady Godiva a ‘run for her money.’ I asked Ben what he was going to do with those long ponytails. He said he didn’t know but would probably dump them in the trash. I mention Locks of Love as a good way to dispose of them and told him how they make them into wigs for young children who are undergoing cancer treatment. His face developed a big smile. We looked the address up on the Internet and as far as I know, Locks of Love received enough hair to make at least two if not more good wings.

I asked Ben how he liked his new look. I asked him why he had gotten it so short and he said that once the barber began cutting it short he liked it and when the barber asked him if he wanted to go shorter, Ben said yes. Well! Ben finally was sporting a, ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?, a HEAD SHAVE.

I asked him how it went at school that day and he said it was great. He said a number of the athletes were sporting the shaved head look and he felt like he was accepted right away. I knew he was going to go short because he seemed to get more interested each time he went to viewing pictures of shorter and shorter cuts. Ben began to ‘come out of his shell’ a lot for the remainder of the year. Sorry to say during the summer of that year, his parents moved. I have not seen or heard from him since. With the enthusiasm Ben showed after the cut, I hope he has kept it short and has found new friends for the remainder of his high school experience.

Footnote: The individual who posted the funny and encouraging but firm reply to Ben and whom I wrote to confirm that Ben was legit, has been in touch with me on a regular basis since. I hope the individual remembers what I told him at the time that I was confirming the legitimacy of Ben. That was, sure there are those out there who like to ‘pull your stings’ but there is always a chance that one is legit and if your kind words helps that individual, dealing with the others is well worth it. You really aren’t hurt by a false inquiry. Being kind but firm works wonders when someone is really looking for conformation of a desire. Give it a try.