SPRING BREAK!

I, Officer Smith, (See TORTURE BY TREADMILL) was assigned to patrol the beach area. Beginning that day, the college students began to arrive for Spring Break! I always look forward to patrolling the area and meet a lot of really find young men and women. I don’t know about you, but when I was in college, I had just enough money to make ends meet. I didn’t even know about Spring Break! Even if I had, I wouldn’t have been able to go.

The number of students on the beach began to swell until there a mass of humanity. As I indicated before, most of the students are well behaved and cooperative. You always have a few who get out of hand. Just as my shift neared the halfway point, I had three young men who were busy upsetting trash containers, drinking, and just being totally obnoxious. They were beginning to get a little loud as well. I approached them and asked them what the problem was. They just looked at me and laughed. I had observed them dumping the trash so I asked them nicely to pick up the trash and put it back in the container. Since I had asked them nicely, I didn’t expect any problems. Eventually after considerable amount of talking with the young men, they picked up the trash. I thank them nicely and said, have a good time.

As I walked on, I noticed that the young men were running down the beach with their long hair floating in the beautiful breeze coming in from the ocean. Two of the men had blonde hair that reached well below their shoulders. I guess they saved on haircuts so they could make it to Spring Break with us. The third young man had jet-black hair. His hair was also just about as long as the others. Just as I was about to turn around, one of the blonde men kicked over another trash container. I caught up with them and asked them to pick up the trash. They began telling me that they were just having fun. I told them they could have all of the fun they wanted, but there were certain things that we don’t do and one of those was tipping over trash. They reluctantly picked the trash up. Before I let the three go, I told them the next time I saw them doing such things like dumping trash, they would be facing possible arrest. They were nice about it and thanked me.

The following day, I again was assigned the same area of the beach and you guessed it, my three dumpers were there. Everything went well until just about time my shift was to end. Yep! They couldn’t resist dumping another barrel of trash. I was there on top of them before they had a chance to drop the container. One of the blonde men made some smart remark about me being there again and made fun of my haircut. He kept on with the haircut bit. Again I asked them to pick up the mess they had made and then I told them they were getting off easy since I could take them in to spend the night in jail for their action after repeated requests to stop. They looked at me and one man said, “Listen to the baldy talking. He knows he doesn’t have the police needed to take us all in.” That did it. I told the guys if they didn’t want to go to jail, they could get a haircut. The young man with the black hair began to laugh and said, “Us get a haircut. That’s a laugh. The next thing we are going to hear, the haircut has to be like his….BALD! There’s no way that is going to happen.” I told the young men they had 24 hours for each of them to get a haircut. I told them if I saw them on the beach without one, they would be in deep trouble. They all laughed and again made some snide remark about my Head Shave. I said, “24 hours gentlemen.”

The following afternoon, late, who did I see on the beach by my three obnoxious young men. You guessed it, no haircut. They were too busy kicking sand on other college students, running around tipping over chairs, and yes, dumping trash. I had had enough of those three. They didn’t think I was serious about keeping the peace on the beach. They didn’t see me coming and just as one of them knocked a drink out of one the beach goers hand, I nailed him. I reminded them of what I had said the day before. Again the smart remark about my bald head began again. I said, “We will deal with the bald head problem, but first get busy.” They knew the routine by now. I made them pick up the trash, set the chair upright, and apologize to the lady who had the drink. I asked the lady how much the drink had cost and she told me and I made the three young men pay for the drink and made them pay her an extra 5 dollars for her trouble.

Then I said, “Ok! Gentlemen. Let’s go.” The one blonde guy said, “Go Where?” They thought they were free to go. I told them no way. I reminded them of our agreement the day before. I grinned and said, “You were warned.” I marched them off the beach and took them down a side street to my pal, Joe. Joe is my barber. As mentioned before, Joe is a Weight Lifter/Body Builder and he is one person you don’t argue with. Did I mention that he loves to give really short haircuts? Actually he loves to use his favorite instrument for cutting hair - the razor. I marched them into Joe’s. Joe had just finished his last customer when we arrived. Joe said, “Hi Officer Smith. It doesn’t look like you need a shave at this time, what’s up?” I told Joe that these three young men was in need of a haircut and they couldn’t find a barbershop, isn’t that right boys?” All three of the men looked at me and then one of the blondes said, “We were going to get our hair cut, but time got away from us.” I said, “You have plenty of time now, don’t you?” They reluctantly indicated that they did.

Joe invited one of them to his chair. I sat down in a chair next to the door and said, “Joe. I hope you don’t mind, but it is my break time and I want to sit and rest awhile. Is that all right with you?” Joe said, “Officer, be my guest. Take the load off of your feet.” Joe knew what was going on so he once again said, “Who is first?” The three of them looked at each other and they heard Joe say, “You’re wasting time. I can come and get you one by one.” The tallest blonde stepped to the chair and sat down. Joe put the cape on him and then asked him how he wanted it cut. The young man said, “Just a light trim.” Joe asked the young man what his name was and he said, “Bill.” I told Joe to ask Bill what he had been doing the last couple of days. Joe said, “Well?” The young man said, “Messing around.” What the young men didn’t know was I had met with Joe that morning and told him about the three. He was ready for them. Joe said, “Could you be more specific?” I told Joe what they had been doing and Joe said, “Is that all true?” Bill sort of grinned and said, “We were only having fun.” “Well! said Joe, “That calls for more than just a little trim, don’t you think?” Bill slowly said, “I suppose so, but don’t take too much off.”

Just as Joe was about to begin the haircut, I said to Joe, “Oh! Yes! Joe! All three of them have been making fun of the haircut you gave me. Can you imagine that?” Joe turned the chair around so he was looking in the eyes of Bill. He said, “What’s wrong with the Officer’s haircut? I think he looks great. When you laugh at his haircut, you insult him and in turn you insult me. I think that calls for a shorter haircut than I had planned!” Bill could be seen getting really nervous. Joe then said, “What kind of a short haircut would you like to have?” Bill looked up at Joe as Joe was rubbing his bald head that had a shine on it just like Officer Smith’s. Bill said, “I don’t want to be bald like you.” Of course Joe put on a big act and said, “Oh! My! This young man doesn’t want it like me. I can go shorter if you like! “Shorter said the young man with black hair. Now that is ridiculous! How much shorter can you go than shaved?” Joe held up a big blue jar and said, “With this I can dissolve even the hair that is below the skin.”

The three really looked uncomfortable when Joe mentioned the cream. Joe then said, “What is going to be for your three, a nice smooth cut like Office Smith and me or something even smoother?” The other blonde said, “If that cream is what I think it is, we would be bald for life. I don’t want any part of that so I want my head shaved.” Joe leaned over to Bill in the chair with the big jar in his hand and said, “And how about you?” The young man was about to pass out. He finally got hold of himself and said, “I too want my head shaved.” Joe smiled and said, “Young man! That is a wise and good choice. I will have you BALD here in a few minutes. Joe sat the jar down and picked up a pair of very sharp scissors and began lopping of large chunks of the man’s long hair. His two partners in crime, were trembling while watching. It wasn’t long before the clippers were buzzing off what remained of the man’s hair.

Joe turned the chair around and Bill saw himself for the first time with just stubs on his head. It was difficult to see them since his hair was quite blonde. “Looks good, doesn’t it?” asked Joe. Before Bill could say anything, Joe was spreading lather all over his head. It wasn’t long before Bill was shining. He really looked great with the bald head.

Bill stepped from the chair and I said, “Isn’t there something you want to say to Joe?” Bill looked at me and then at Joe and reached out his hand and shook Joe’s and said, “Thank you sir for an excellent haircut.” He paid Joe and came over and sat down.

Joe swept up what was Bill’s hair and then said, “Ok! Which one of you is next?” The other blonde got up and went to the chair. Joe put the cape on him and asked him, “What is your name, young man?” “Seth! Sir!” Joe shook Seth’s hand and said, “Good to meet you. You weren’t in on all of those things that Bill told me about, were you?” Seth had a slight grin on his face and said, “Yes Sir! I was involved.” “And what can I do for you today?” asked Joe. Seth said, “Sir! I would like for you to shave all of my hair off my head and get rid of my beard.” “Good choice,” said Joe. It wasn’t long before the scissors had done their job and his hair was on the floor and the clippers were taking off Seth’s beard. Just as soon as Joe finished the beard, off came the rest of Seth’s hair. It wasn’t long before Seth was being shaved - face and head. Seth had a big smile on his face when he first saw himself completely shaved. He reached up and felt his head. He got up and said, “Sir! This feels and looks great. I thank you.” Joe told him he was welcomed as he put Seth’s payment in the register.

All eyes suddenly were focused on Cory. Cory sat there and didn’t move a muscle. Joe invited him to have a seat. Cory stood up and said, “You guys were stupid. There is no way that anyone is going to get me in that chair or any chair and shave my head. By the time Cory had gotten that out of his mouth, Joe had his huge arms around Cory’s waist and lifted him up and put him in the chair. Cory tried to get up so Joe held him in. He asked Seth to come over and give him the clippers. Seth hesitated. Joe said, “I can still use that cream on your noggin.” Seth got up and gave Joe the clippers. Cory tried to struggle, but it was no use. Seth was no match with Joe’s massive size and strength. The clippers came to life and Joe said, “Well Cory! What’s it going to be?” Cory looked up at Joe and said, shave it all off. Joe released the pressure on Cory and began cutting his hair. He stopped after he made one pass on the top of the head and got the scissors to shorten the hair.

I no time Cory was Bald. Before Cory left the chair, Joe asked him if he wanted the extra special treatment. Cory still had that defiant attitude and said, “Sure! Give me the full treatment. That stuff doesn’t do what you told us. You were just bluffing.” Joe opened the jar and said, “Cory! This will remove your hair below the skin and I must tell you, the results will be permanent.” Cory just laughed and said, “You aren’t fooling me. I don’t fall for that kind of talk. Put it on me and make it thick.” Joe said, “Ok! But your hair won’t grow back.” Joe spread the foul-smelling cream over Cory’s head and he made sure that it was nice and thick. A warm, moist towel was wrapped around Cory’s head. As Joe was waiting, Cory said, “Who in their right mind would come in here and want to get rid of their hair for the rest of their life.” Joe smiled and said, “There are men who have very little hair and don’t want to bother with it any more and this takes care of that. Yes there are some full headed men who want to be bald and they go for it.”

After 20 minutes, Joe began removing the cream with a towel and Cory was surprised to see flecks of back hair on the towel with the cream. When Joe finished, Cory’s head was as white as snow. There was no trace of his black hair - not even a shadow. Joe made Cory shine just like Bill and Seth. Cory paid Joe and walked away. I said, “Cory! I think you forgot something.” “Oh! Yea! Thanks!

I told the three that they looked really great with those cuts. Seth said to me, “I really like this. This is really cool. The feel is AWESOME!” Bill chimed in and said, “Now that I have gotten used to it, I like it also. I can’t wait for the guys back in the dorm see this with a good tan on it. They are going to freak out.”

The three left after I told them to enjoy their haircuts and their spring break. They left and I smiled to Joe and thanked him. Joe said, “I had more fun today than in a long time.”

The following day, I was back on patrol and saw three bald heads coming towards me. When they reached me, Seth said, “Officer Smith. Thank you for yesterday. I appreciate it very much. I now have a good excuse for getting rid of that hair. It was driving me crazy. When I got up this morning, my head felt like fine sandpaper and I loved shaving my head. What a trip.” Bill spoke up and said, “I too want to thank you. My parents have been wanting me to get a short haircut and they would have been blown out of their mind if I had been arrested. Thanks!” Cory just looked at me and was rubbing his smooth head. I said, “Well! Cory, how do you like not having all of that mess in your head?” Cory looked at me and said, “It’s Ok! I didn’t have to shave like these two did this morning. My head is still smooth.”

I smiled and told the three how great they looked. I told them to be extra careful today and be sure to put on a good sun block. I didn’t want to see them get a severe burn. They said that they had put some on before they came to the beach. I said, “You guys look fantastic. Enjoy your time with us and try to stay out of trouble.” The all laughed and walked off.

I didn’t see them again for 5 days and then here they came. They began running up to me. They all had a good start getting a tan. I shook each of their hands and told them how great they looked with the beginnings of a tan. I almost fainted when Cory said, “Officer Smith! Thank you for not giving up on me. My parents have let me do anything I wanted and I sure wished they had said no just once. They had told me many times to get a haircut but I just laughed them off and they didn’t do anything about it. I was hoping that my Dad would have taken me right then to the barber and have me get a haircut like this. Oh! Yes! My hair hasn’t begun to grow back yet. Do you suppose Barber Joe was correct about me being bald the rest of my life?”

I said, “Gentlemen, let’s go and pay Joe a visit. I am sure he would love to see you again before you go back to college. We walked to Joe’s and Joe was surprised to see them again. “Don’t tell me you guys got into trouble again,” shouted Joe. I said, “No Joe. They just wanted to stop by and say hi. They will be going back to college in a day or two. Oh! Yes! Cory wanted to ask you something.” Joe looked the three young men and said, “BOY! You guys sure do look great. I hope you keep this look. It is really a great look for all three of you. Now what was it that you want to ask me Cory?” Cory said, “I don’t have any hair growing back yet. That cream you put on me isn’t going to make me bald for life is it?” Joe said, “No Cory! I can see the hair is beginning to return. You will have hair above the skin in another day or two. Oh! I do have some cream that will cause a person to be permanently bald, but I didn’t use it on you. As I said before, I use it on men who really want to be permanently bald and for those who have very little hair left. I have them sign a paper saying they are requesting the treatment and they know they will be bald for the rest of their life.

What Cory said next about knocked me over. He said, “Joe! I love the bald look and I don’t want hair on my head. I don’t think you noticed, but I was going bald when you shaved my head. My father and two brothers are almost totally bald. They look foolish with that little strip of hair around their ears. I have tried and tried to get them to shave it off and look great but they won’t. Do you have time to give me that treatment now so I will not have to face that ugly narrow strip of hair on my head? Joe said he could do it then, but he had to sign the form and have it notarized. If you want it done now, Jake, next door will notarize it for you free. He handed him the form and Seth, Bill, and I went with him. We all signed it and so did Cory.

In less than 10 minutes, we were back at Joe’s and Joe was ready for Cory. After several treatments, Joe told Cory that he shouldn’t have any hair growth on his head. “If you do, come back and I will take care of it free.” Cory thanked Joe and me and left rubbing his head. We heard Cory telling the boys, “I sure am happy I did that. Maybe I can get my father and brothers to do it and be done with it. I was going to shave my head this summer because by then I would be almost bald. The hair has been falling out very rapidly as of late.”

Well! The Spring Break came to an end for another year. Everything went back to normal. Each time I go in for Joe to give me a shave when I am too lazy to do it myself, we chuckle about the three young men who went from long hairs to baldy. I said to Joe, “I wonder if they kept their heads shaved?” Joe laughed and said, “Well! I know one of them will remain bald.”

The following spring, I was once again placed on patrol on the beach. I really like that detail. I get to see lots of beauties on the beach as well as meet lots of wonderful young men and women - as I said before. As I was walking along one day, I noticed a young man with really long hair come down the beach and knocked over a garbage can. Before I could get to him, he had dumped two more. I thought, ‘here we go again.’ I made him pick up the trash and clean up the areas. I told him I didn’t want to see him doing that again. He said, “What are you going to do about it if I do?” I said, “Let’s just say, there will be a change.”

The next day I was on patrol and saw the young man again. He was easy to spot since he was one of a handful of young men with really long hair. Sure enough, he was back at it again. I got caught up with him and as I said, “Well! Well! Well! We meet again. Get busy. You know the routine.” Just then I heard a familiar voice say, “That’s Ok Officer Smith. We will take it from here.” I turned around there were Seth, Cory, and Bill. I gave each of them a handshake and a hug. I told them it was good to see them again. Yes! They all three were free of hair. I asked Cory how it went with the folks when you told them what you had done. He laughed and said, “They think I shave every day. They haven’t picked up on the fact that with my black hair, there is no hairline. Oh! Yes! One of my brothers has shaved off what little hair he had and is working on both my other brother and Dad.”

I was about to give the young man another lecture when Seth said, “He needs to visit Joe. We will take him there. He will have lots of fun there.” I said, “Ok men! Good to see you again. Have a great break.” After a few minutes I walked to Joe’s and there, sitting in the barber chair was the longhaired youth. Well not so long - Joe had just finished his scissor trick. I smiled and walked back to the beach. A little while later, I heard Bill call my name and I looked around and he said, “Well! How does he look? As we were leaving you, he made a smart remark about you and your age and having a bald head. Well! We couldn’t let him get away with that.” I smiled and told the young man he looked AWESOME and he smiled. He thanked me and said, “I don’t think I will be seeing you, at least as we met before.” He walked away and I said to the boys, “Now what have you done?” They laughed and Cory said, “We told him that if his mischief happened again, we would bring him back to Joe and let Joe make the bald head permanent.” I just laughed said, “Thanks men. I appreciate it.”

Now why would I want a beat other than the Beach. Yes! I do enjoy people. I love to see them having a great time. Yes! I do meet interesting people other than at Spring Break. I love that part of my work. I don’t like having to arrest anyone. It isn’t my nature, but I am ready and able to, if necessary. Helping people and enjoying people is a lot more rewarding. I was walking along and thought, ‘I wonder if the boys will be back next year. I will miss them if they don’t.