The Understudy Prisoner

I'm not an actor or a theater person, but in college I have spent a great deal of my time working in the theater program. There were some formal courses that I never took, and an active series of productions throughout the year. Mostly I work backstage, building sets, doing lighting, that sort of thing, with a few stints onstage, but only in minor parts. The crew are neat folks and it is a good change from the grind of my science curriculum. This particular show, I don't remember the title of. It was a bit of a 1800's melodrama. In any event, a big scene in the second act had the hero being tossed into prison. There was a lot of action with his fiancee, and best friend and the jailer and so forth, but there was also a short scene with the other prisoner in the cell. Definitely a bit part, though with a fair number of lines. Tony, a computer nerd, who definitely favored the unkempt look had the part. Like many of his sort, he had postponed learning his lines as long as possible and I had wound up coaching him. In any case, the night before dress rehearsal, Tony was definitely not feeling well, and as the evening went on it became apparent that he had a real problem. So they hauled him off. I read his lines, and just before we quit we got word that he had an almost ruptured appendix and would be spending the next few days in the hospital.

Well, we had to fill the part and everybody pointed to me, since they had noticed that I hadn't had to do much reading when I 'read' the lines. The costume would be ok, since Tony and I were about the same size, and anyway, rags are easy. We were about to break for the night when the director, Miss Bonner, said "What about your hair? Tony was just going to scramble his around and since he was pretty shaggy it would have worked ok, so we didn't order him a wig or anything. But you don't exactly have the hairstyle of a 19th century prisoner." She had a point. I had just got a haircut-a regular sort of haircut, trimmed close around the sides and back and tapering up to maybe 3-4 inches on top. Not enough on top to cover the sides and hide the neatly trimmed sides and the taper. Also, my hair was a bright blond and wasn't going to be overlooked.

"Is it too late to get a wig?" I asked. (This was before overnight delivery services). "Yes, we need it by tomorrow, and it always takes nearly a week to get stuff from them." Tom suggested I could have it dyed brown so it wouldn't show, but that wouldn't take care of the style. "How about I wear a hat?" "Why would a prisoner be wearing a hat? And wha kind of hat--a baseball cap??" All kinds of wise comments.

Then Peggy piped up,"Didn't they shave prisoners' heads sometimes?" That hit me right between the eyes, "Oh come on, it's just a bit part". At this point Miss Bonner jumped in, "But it's an important one, and we've spent a lot of time building the set for the prison scene. I know it's a lot to ask, but it might be the solution." "But my head will be really white. You objected to blond and this will show even more." "No problem! That's what makeup is for." "Couldn't I just get a buzzcut?" I realized as I said it that I really didn't want a buzzcut either, but we did have a problem. "You could, I suppose. But putting makeup on skin is easy and hair really gets in the way. What do you think?" "I think it's a lousy idea for such a little part!" "Oh, come on Eric, do it!" "Yeah, we need a bald prisoner." "We'll give you your own curtain call." Everybody jumped in, even Peggy, "Try it, Eric. I think it'll look cool." I should explain that Peggy and I were dating pretty seriously at the time. Well, if she thought I should, what the hell! "Ok, enough, everybody! I'll do it. Anybody own a pair of clippers?" Jeff did and would bring them to dress rehearsal the next night. Afterwards Peggy and I went over to the Union so she could coach me on my lines. I asked her, "Do you really think shaving my head is a good idea? I mean other than for the play?" She laughed, "I don't know for sure, but that cut you have now is kind of old-fashioned looking. We'll find out, won't we?"

Well, the condemmed man spent the next day thinking about what was to come and looking at his reflection in evry mirror he came to. After supper, I went into the bathroom and combed my hair one last time and headed off to the theater. I figured I would get Jeff to do the job and get on with it, but the gang had other plans. I walked in to what looked like a party! There was even a cake with "Hair today, gone tomorrow!" in the icing and a big computer printed banner, "Our hair-0, Eric!". Tom had the video camera and there was a stool sitting in the middle of the lounge next to a table with a pair of bright red hair clippers, a can of shaving foam and a package of razors. Well, it was just a bit part, but I was going to be the star of this show!

I got hustled over to the stool and spun around for the 'before' shots. Jeff picked up the clippers and snapped them on, "Come on Peggy, this was your idea, so you get the first pass!" She came over and took the clippers. I heard her say, quietly, "Hang in there, guy!" as she put one hand on the back of my head and with the other, pushed the clippers slowly up the middle of my head. She picked a handful of hair off my head and held it out for the camera. I kind of lost track of who else used the clippers, as they got passed around to just about everybody. Jeff ended up with them and I guess trimmed up a few spots that got missed.

I didn't get to feel of it or look at myself before I felt a big blob of shaving foam land on the top of my head. Jeff rubbed it around and picked up a razor. Jeff put the razor down right on my forehead and slid it back. I could feel it scrape as it went, but when he went over the spot again, it just slid smoothly. It was really a strange sensation, sitting there, feeling the razor working its way over my head. When he was done they spun me around again for the camera and finally I got to feel of my head. I am sure anyone who has ever shaved his head has had the same surprise at how smooth your head is when it is freshly shaved. I was expecting it, but it was still a shock. And everybody gave my head a rub.

I had had stage makeup before, but having it applied to my whole head was a whole new feeling. I got a quick look at myself before rehearsal started. Stage makeup looks pretty weird closeup, so there was this bald headed guy with drawn on wrinkles and a dark 5 o'clock shadow with a real receeding hairline at the temples. Sure didn't look like me! The rehearsal went fine, I guess. Afterwards, I wiped off the makeup and got a look at the real me. The five o'clock shadow was gone, of course, and so, of course, was my hair. It sure didn't look like me. I wondered if Yul Brynner had had similar feelings when he shaved his head for "The King & I". It became his trademark for the rest of his life, but I wasn't starring on Broadway. The party was fun, cake and all.I got kidded a bit, but several people told me that the shaved head actually looked pretty good. I asked Peggy, "Well, what do you think of the new me?" She laughed and reached over and gave my head a rub, "I thought it would look good on you and I was right! You've got the head for it. I like it a lot."

My new look surprised a few people back in the dorm and in classes the next morning. It kept surprising me, too, whenever I caught a glimpse of my reflection. I got to the theater a bit early each of the 3 nights of performance so Jeff could shave me smooth, and by Saturday night I was starting to get much less self conscious about being bald. Sunday I slept in late. After I took my shower, before going for brunch I surveyed my reflection. You couldn't see it yet, but I could feel the start of the roughness from the stubble growing back. Peggy and I had a date that afternoon and she had liked the bald look, so I decided to try my hand at shaving my head myself. Turned out to be pretty easy, and I realized that I was enjoying the smooth feel again.

Well, the play is history, the academic year is nearly history, and my hair is still history. Peggy and Iare still an item. She likes me bald and I like me bald. My family figure I'm nuts, but they already knew that. So, I have no plans to grow hair any time soon. I would never wish it on someone, but I am very glad that Tony's appendix flared up when it did.